


Fanfic I wrote for Smosh theater

by ca_oc03



Category: Smosh
Genre: Crack, Fluff and Crack, Why Did I Write This?, idontknow
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-21
Updated: 2020-06-06
Packaged: 2021-03-03 03:54:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,414
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24298435
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ca_oc03/pseuds/ca_oc03
Summary: I rewrote the fanfic Damien had to read for his induction to Smosh games. Please send it their way.
Relationships: Damien Haas & Shayne Topp, smosh cast - Relationship
Comments: 2
Kudos: 3





	1. First fic

**Author's Note:**

> Why am I doing this I don’t know but this has been one of the weirdest things I’ve written.  
> To the Smosh cast and crew, So Smosh is the only thing keeping sane in quarantine, I watched videos from 2017 to now on all Smosh channels. Which is why I wrote this. I rewrote the fanfiction Damien read in his induction to Smosh Games, now it’s not sexual but still weird enough to laugh at. Thanks for being so funny. When I say Smosh friends I mean whoever is there, change the names based on convenience. Anyway, here we go…

“Hey what are you watching?” asked Damien sitting next to him on the couch.  
“Wha- how did you get here man?” Shayne asked confused  
“What’d you mean it’s obvious” the brunette answered smiling at his friend.  
“I guess it is,” he said. For a while, they stood silent watching the surface together. 

There was some moth flying around the lamp which caught its interest for some time. 

“But whatcha doing here” he asked all of a sudden.  
“I’m here for you buddy” Damien answered smiling widely. He stood up and walked in front of Shayne. “I’m here to help you relax,” he said. Shayne’s eyes widened, suddenly remembering the fanfiction and realized what happens next. 

Damien turned on calming music, got Shayne a blanket, and turned to his friend. “Go ahead vent to me I know you’ve had a tough week”. He turns to the camera winks, and says “you weren’t expecting this were you?”. 

Shayne settles down with the blanket, “Thanks Damien, are you sure you want to hear me vent”.  
“What are besties for?” says Damien shrugging  
“So it started when...”  
~2 hours later~  
“...and that’s why I have trust issues” Shayne states “Wow that felt good”

Damien and Shayne hug LIKE FRIENDS and then turn to see more people come into whatever room they are in.

Their friends from Smosh look at them They look at each other and back at platonic Shaymien. 

“What’s going on here?” says Courtney  
“Yeah I feel like there was a lot of emotional baggage let go off in this room,” says Noah.  
“Yeah I really spilled all my feelings and insecurities to Damien” Shayne answers  
“Ok makes sense,” says Keith… Ian and Noah nod  
“Yeah I think you guys do this every Friday” adds Olivia  
“No, I think it’s every other Friday” Courtney states  
“Guys stop exaggerating it’s like every month on the (insert current date).” Damien retorts

Shayne thought this was all normal until all his friends disappeared and Damien rode away on Brunhilde the Donkey. 

Shayne woke up and sat right up, and Damien walks by the couch saying “Are you okay man? Did you have a nightmare?”  
“Nope, just a really weird dream” Shayne looks at the camera winks and smiles. 

Everyone bows… applause

THE END

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You guys should include reader insert and talk to the camera the whole time, that would be so weird and funny. Anyway, love the channel already ordered merch.


	2. Second one Damien read

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This one goes way off track

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wrote two just in case one is too crazy. They are both chaotic. I tried to stay as close to the original text as possible in the beginning. I even kept the weird nonsense phrase.

“Hya-yes” (whatever tf that means) Shayne admitted a bit shyly. 

Maybe he was drunk but he still felt a bit awkward about the idea of swimming with Damien naked or maybe a felt like that because he was drunk usually seeing his friend naked wouldn’t seem that awkward for him.

“You guess?! Well, I guess if you are so afraid to admit it I’ll have to make you do it” the brunette said and dragged Shayne into the water. 

Splashing the water around them and trying to lower his friend so he would sink a bit into the water but Shayne didn’t give up easily he has drowned before. So they started to wrestle in the water, it probably wasn’t the best idea because both of them were a little drunk (on caffeine because Damien doesn’t drink) but they didn’t care. They were good swimmers _so they made it not to die,_ so far at least. 

“Alright alright it was a terrible idea I hate it,” Shayne said

“Well, then I’m upset you feel that way… so did this help your fear of being naked in public” Damien replied

“No not really it’s weird all our friends and coworkers are seeing as swim naked” Shayne confessed, he moved 5 feet away from Damien because as the vine says they’re not gay.

Their smosh friends waved and so did the JTP (their “The Goldbergs” counterpart not the real deal). The So Random crew popped out from behind the bushes. 

“Matt Bradley what the BLEEP are you doing here, just when I thought you weren’t the stupid one” Barry Goldberg said (Troy Gentile).

“What is going on dude” Geoff says (Sam Lerner). 

"What's my boyfriend doing here?" Olivia asks 

"I'm not your boyfriend my girlfriend is Erica Goldberg" Geoff says 

This is the first thing that clues Shayne and Damien that something is wrong. 

“Mr. McNamara and Mr.Goodman what’s happening?” says Allisyn Ashley Arm as a student

“Yeah guys why are we here? I thought we were having a pool party” Courtney asked

“Is that Augustus St.Cloud?! The famous ruthless yelper who loves mayonnaise” some random person shouts from behind a fence. “Who’s that blond guy with him and why is he naked?”

Damien and Shayne’s worst nightmare was coming to life, their characters were real. They both scream and wake up in beach chairs. They fell asleep at the beach. They both turn wide-eyed to each other. 

“Did you have the same dream as me?” Damien asks his friend

“The skinny dipping and our characters being real?” Shayne responds

“Yeah” Damien agrees

They turn to see Brandon Mychal Smith running up them. 

“Zombie man why are you at the beach I need your help” 

Damien could only grunt in response and then freaks out about the loss of his voice. He wakes up again to be in a pool chair. 

“Damien are you okay you’re shaking” Shayne runs up to him

“Yeah just weird dream” 

THE END

**Or alternatively to act out better**

“Hya-yes” (whatever tf that means) Shayne admitted a bit shyly. 

Maybe he was drunk but he still felt a bit awkward about the idea of swimming with Damien naked or maybe a felt like that because he was drunk usually seeing his friend naked wouldn’t seem that awkward for him.

“You guess?! Well, I guess if you are so afraid to admit it I’ll have to make you do it” the brunette said and dragged Shayne into the water. 

Splashing the water around them and trying to lower his friend so he would sink a bit into the water but Shayne didn’t give up easily he has drowned before. So they started to wrestle in the water, it probably wasn’t the best idea because both of them were a little drunk (on caffeine because Damien doesn’t drink) but they didn’t care. They were good swimmers _so they made it not to die_ , so far at least. 

“Alright alright it was a terrible idea I hate it,” Shayne said

“Well, then I’m upset you feel that way… so did this help your fear of being naked in public” Damien replied

“No not really it’s weird all our friends and coworkers are seeing as swim naked” Shayne confessed. He separates himself 5 feet like in the vine cause they’re not gay.

“Yeah guys why are we here at a lake? I thought we were having a pool party” Courtney asked

“I’m trying to help Shayne get rid of his fear.” Damien responded

“But I’M not comfortable with this” Noah protested

“Well get over it” Damien turned to Noah saying.

“Can we not do this” Shayne pleaded he is starting to feel uncomfortable and wanted to put on some swim trunks.

“Okay whatever” Damien complained

Shayne exited the lake trying to cover up all he could. He wrapped a towel around him while he looked for his trunks. He put them on and finally relaxed. 

“This was weird can we not do this again” Olivia requested

“Yeah sure whatever” Damien says as he begins to exit the lake. 

He trips and falls face-first into the dirt. As he tastes the dirt, realize it feels and taste like chocolate. He looks up the world is made of candy. It is like Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. He stands up and tastes the lake water and it tastes like the juice in a juicy drop. 

“Guys what is going o-” he stops realizing his friends are gingerbread men.

“Damien are you ok?” Keith asks getting closer 

“Yeah are you ok?” Shayne approaches

“Damien talk to us” Olivia pleas

“Hello earth to Damien” Courtney says

He continues to just stare at them as they start to surround him. He feels tempted to eat them but they’re his friends. 

“Damien!” Noah yells

Damien wakes up face covered in chocolate ice cream. Someone had turned him upward he guessed because he sees the smushed chocolate ice cream and the chair he fell off. He sits up. 

“Glad you are ok, you fell off the pool chair in your sleep and into the ice cream” Shayne tells him.

Damien nods silently and then says, “I had the weirdest dream”. 

THE END

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please share this with the smosh crew. If this is the smosh cast and crew thank you for the things you did this week for BLM and for the entertainment this quarantine.


End file.
